Saturday, April 4, 2009

Things That I Don't Love, so much...

I decided "Things that I hate" was a little, well, negative. So I changed it. It's a psychological thing!

1. Getting groceries in the rain....your bags are wet, your cardboard-boxed purchases are soggy and water-stained, water pools in the plastic-non-recyclable-horrible-for-the-environment's a just a mess and you take it home with your car. Yay.

2. Getting groceries in the rain...with 3 children in tow. nuff said.

3. Ants in my house. EWWWW! the downside of living beside a farm: lots of bugs that, while physically smaller than I, have more legs than me. Therefore, they deserve to die. Other insects, living a single life, I may see fit to escort outside in a moment of zen-ness and concern for my Catholic karma. However, insects that live in colonies or swarms? All bets are off, especially when you're congregating where I eat man!! I had just enough ant killer from last year to kill on the spot all the ants I could find, which included but was not limited to: sink ledge, up my pantry door, along the base of the pantry, exiting the baseboard of my dishwasher, along the floor under my sink and in the corner next to my stove. Yay. I had only two traps, but let's face it, they take 24 hours to work and in a frenzy I killed all the ones I could see, dead. They wouldn't be takin' anything back to their families...sorry Buddha! Funny: the ant killer says: Do not spray into the air. My question: what if you have ants with wings? I'm just sayin'....

4. Repetive noises that children make. Seriously? Did that sound just come out of my son's mouth? Better question: why? why do you sound like a robot on crack? And why does that not hurt your own ears?? I don't remember making noises like when I was a kid! Talking in ear-piercingly loud high pitches, pretending to be a cat or dog's voice (like the girls I babysit for). Honestly, did I do that? How did my mother tolerate us?! I'm gonna ask her...and further, if we did, how did she resist the urge to do an emergency tracheotomy with her kitchen shears? This is very pertinent information. In fact I may need to stop blogging to call her RIGHTNOW! "BOYS!!! Stop making that freakin' noise!!!" *sigh* Usually I can just yell his name, and he KNOWS, he knows...

5. Toys that make repetitive noises. Now at this point, you may want to label me "high strung" however let me elaborate: we own a kids' laptop that has a little monkey as the sort of MC to all the games? and when you hit the volume button, to adjust his volume? Yeah, it does this high-pitched squeaky monkey noise over and over and over and over (at all different volumes as you adjust it) and here's the kicker: IT DOESN'T STOP!! You literally have to turn it off or hit one of the game options to make it switch noises. This is no joke. It's like migraine in a computer. Who approved this for sale?!! I'd like to know!!! Imagine one of the little ones hitting the volume button volume and walking away....groan!!! I've had company, people who have never heard this before, and literally almost got tackled by a friend or relative as we all lunged to shut it off! It is instantaneoulsy annoying!

Now, I have to go before my husband blows his stack. Charming has been taking care of them for the past two hours now and he DID make dinner....I guess I should go relieve him. After all, he has bath duty tonight, he should have a bit of a break between now and then! ;)

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