Monday, June 15, 2009

IQ Tests for Construction Workers

Ok, I'm not trying to offend anyone and I'm sorry if your spouse is a construction worker (my own husband used to be one!!) but I feel that perhaps they might need to be testing these people in some way if they are going to be directing traffic!!

So I'm a big fan of common sense, right? As I'm waiting, for 10 fricken minutes (no joke!!) for the dippy doo head who is directing traffic a block ahead to remember that no one from this direction has moved in a while, I am pondering what I would do as a traffic director. I have come to this conclusion: I would watch the rotation already in place by the traffic lights before I shut them off. Then I would try to continue that pattern to the best of my ability. At the very least, limit the number of cars you have coming through from each direction!!! Don't just stand there and let traffic from only one direction flow until no more cars are coming. During rush hour traffic, that could take awhile, num-nuts!! (See how I have it all worked out?? I TOLD you I was waiting for a long time!!)

This is what I witnessed during the course of being stuck in this carefully thought out traffic jam:

Lots of construction workers standing around

Large trucks, suddenly sticking a tail or head or crane or bucket directly into the line of traffic, unbeknownst to the traffic director, who is, of course, facing away from said construction equipment.

Construction workers leaving their posts while traffic from one direction is flowing to chat with a coworker as cars go by....for an apparently indeterminate amount of time!!

Cones set up so haphazardly and at such strange intervals that when said slacker construction worker leaves post, taking their large orange flag with them, drivers begin to weave in amidst the cones, confused as to where they are supposed to be going so that slacker has to run after them, waving the large orange flag (is that what that's for? for getting the attention of drivers going the wrong way??)

Merging to one lane set up so poorly and without any warning that ones does not KNOW there is a merge coming up until they realize that noise they hear is them, trying to run over a cone that has suddenly appeared in their lane. Don't they make giant electric signs that blink and can be seen from miles away?? Perhaps they should invest in some of those!!

Finally, I was trapped, trapped I tell you, in a strip mall parking lot, unable to get out and feeling rather panicky, as below average intelligence construction workers had coned off all but one available entrance....which let you out right where the surprise merge began! Way to plan, guys, .....plan!!

Disclaimer: No women were involved, consulted or injured during the planning and execution of this traffic diversion plan....obviously.

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