Sunday, February 27, 2011

If I Had a Tape Recorder


If I had a hand-held tape recorder to help me with parenting, this is what I’d record on it for playback, to save my voice…it also does something to your sanity when you have to constantly repeat yourself!

1. Please clean up the playroom…right now! Start with the friggen LEGOS!!

2. Morgan! Stop screaming!!

3. Gabe, you are too big to be pooping your pants!

4. Stop running in the house!



Image credit:


5. You MAY NOT hit! No, there is no excuse for hitting, ever! {as I swat him on the butt. Good one, Lara}

6. Turn that computer down! We don’t need to hear the sound effects to Scooby Doo all the way in the next room!

7. Gabe, did you leave the TV on in the other room? Please go turn it off, that Zelda (Mario brothers, Wii menu, etc) music is driving me insane!!

8. STOP running around the house!!

9. No, you may not wander around eating---all food and drinks belong in the kitchen, unless you want to be vacuuming later!
Image credit: Lin Pernille Photography

10. Who left the gate open to the laundry room?? The baby was thisclose to getting into the litter boxes!!

11. CLOSE…..THE…..BASEMENT….DOOR!!

12. Clean up your breakfast (snack, lunch or dinner) dishes!! There is no busboy here!!

13. STOP RUNNING around!!!

14. No, I’m not fixing you something else—this is not Burger King, you can’t have it your way! {or alternately: we are not in a restaurant, I am not your waitress, you may not order a separate meal to be fixed for you!}

15. No whining. I can’t understand you when you whine. You are too big for that anyway!

16. STOPRUNNINGAROUNDTHEHOUSE!!!!!

17. WHY are your clothes (wet towel, pajamas, dirty night-time pull-ups, fill in the blank) on the floor??

18. Where’s the baby?

19. Morgan, get out of those cabinets!!

20. For the love of God, STOP the FREAKING RUNNING!!!

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