Thursday, October 27, 2011

Review: The Oxymorons

So my sisters (and Leigh, who's LIKE a sister) and I decided to have a girls' night.  On a Wednesday.  We're such rebels.
I put forth the idea that we should go to improv night with The Oxymorons at Magooby's in Timonium, MD because it would be fun (and because I'm awesome like that!).  Now, in the interest of full-disclosure, I know one of the self-proclaimed "Morons"....but I don't have to tell you which one! ;)  (you can guess in the comments!).

There were 3 other improv groups there but truth be told, I didn't know that going in and consequently....well, my mom brain didn't retain them.  Sorry guys.  (Hey, "mom brain" is one of the few perks of being a mom, I'm going to use it. To. Death.)

Now, the Oxymorons were different from the other groups in that they used a ton of audience participation and model themselves after Whose Line Is It Anway? (one of my absolute favorite shows ever, btw).  My favorite games are the bell game and mannequins.  And they did both right at the beginning of their set, so I was a happy girl. ;) 

The bell game involves two people having a conversation about whatever the audience has suggested and that MC/director Andy has chosen from those suggestions.  Every time Andy hit the bell, the actor speaking had to change the last thing he said.  Of course, it's funnier when the bell is hit a good 3 or 4 times in a row (presumably stressing the actor out but funny as hell for the audience).  For us, it was Randy and Toby as father and son respectively, talking about prom which devolved into a conversation about how mom was a nympho and why the mailman lived upstairs!

Mannequins is the game where two actors are once again having a discussion about an audience-picked topic (disco dancers for this one!) while two members of the audience tap the actors' body parts to make them move.  Hilarious because of course, the actors are trying to keep up with their dialogue and are also trying to match said dialogue to whatever wacky positions their volunteers are putting them in!  By the end of this skit, Andy and Toby were embracing and Andy was remarking on the fact that his hand was not on a disco ball!  (the one I have inserted is not the one we saw last night....just in case you were wondering...cuz it's not.)

My sisters and I were laughing terribly hard, making it difficult to consume the chicken fingers and fries we ordered (which were good!) and after all that laughing and drinking of alcohol (oh, did I forget to mention that?  It's really not necessary to consume alcohol in order to find the actors funny, I swear!!) we were sweating to death and removing our cardys, so layer up for Magooby's!! Where was I?

Oh right. Made us laugh.  Fun audience participation (Andy took my soccer player suggestion for the Gibberish Murder Mystery game; I felt like a rock star!).  As a matter of fact, while the other improv groups were also very very funny, with super smooth transitions between skits, they had virtually no audience participation.  My sister Steph and I (both over the age of 30) found them all funny, but the Oxymorons the most fun.  Kate and Leigh (both 22) thought Oxymorons the best! 
We all liked the audience participation aspect of it. 

All in all, an incredibly successful girls' night and I'm already checking the schedule to see when I can drag other friends to an Oxymoron show!  Who's with me?!

The Oxymorons can also be found on Facebook here.
Magooby's Joke House is also on Facebook. (I mean, who isn't?)

The Rules of LaLa: Memorize Them

Disclaimer:  These rules may be changed or become null and void at any time at the sole whim of Lara, with no advanced warning...well, except this one.

LaLa's Rule #16: Never chastise me for being impatient.  I will turn on you faster than you can blink!

LaLa’s Rule #15: Use your common sense around me at all times. If you choose not to exercise your common sense muscles, I will use my physical muscles and head-bonk you.

LaLa’s Rule #14: No horror movies if I will be in the house alone in the succeeding 24-48 hours. It’s just cruel and I’ll make you suffer along with me cuz guess who I’ll be calling at 2am when I can’t sleep? Additionally, don’t watch them with me unless you are prepared to have bruising on your arm---I hold on tight.

LaLa’s Rule #13: I don’t ever bring people back from the dead. It’s not right, so don’t ask me.

LaLa’s Rule #12: Do not talk while I am interrupting.

LaLa’s Rule #11: If I am obviously having some kind of bad day and am starting to get upset (this will be indicated by speed-talking and gesticulating) do not ever say to me “Now Lara, calm down.” When has that ever worked when you said that to someone? When? Exactly.

LaLa’s Rule #10: I  have finally figured out my touching issues!! YAY! Ok, here's why I'm super affectionate with family and friends but *freak out* when someone I don't know or like (or both) does so.  I am hyper sensitive to a lot of things. If we touch, it bonds us.  I touch my kids a lot---squishing their little cheeks, smoothing hair, kisses, hugs, you name it.  I am that woman touching her friend's hand or arm while we talk.  I'm a hugger.  But touch me in a crowded restaurant while you slide past?  Ugh.  I don't know you.  I don't want to be bonded with you.  Knock it off.    

LaLa’s Rule #9: Do not ever, under any circumstances, make repetitive noises. Anywhere. Ever. I don’t care what it is.

LaLa’s Rule #8: Never touch my chocolate. (That’s it. There’s no further instructions here.)

LaLa’s Rule #7: I ride shotgun. If I’m not riding shotgun, it’s because I’m driving. If I’m not riding shotgun and I’m not driving, I’m barfing. That’s all there is to it. It’s like a mathematical equation: Lara + backseat= barf. Don’t do it.

LaLa’s Rule #6: Don’t drink while I’m talking. It will inevitably come out of your nose because everything I say is funny. This is more a warning or a caution than a rule, but still….it needed to be said!

LaLa’s Rule #5: I only drink sweet wine. Don’t bring that fancy, dry crap and try to sell it to me. I’m not drinking it; I’ll spit it back into the glass and then dump it down the drain. Don’t test it. I’ve done it before.

LaLa’s Rule #4: I like things just-so. Some people call it anal-retentive. I prefer “detail-oriented in a way you obviously are not.” Don’t touch my stuff. You will get your hand smacked. Big Joe taught me that.

LaLa’s Rule #3: Don’t buy me items containing satin. I have huge issues with texture. Satin reminds me of this hideous bathrobe I had as a kid. It was quilted. And my hang-nails caught on it. And it made creepy noises….

LaLa’s Rule #2: I never answer call waiting calls on my cell phone. Sure, the phone tries to give you little icons to work it out, but they’re like men: they don’t do what they say they’re going to do and then I’m all aggravated and pissed off. I hate that!

LaLa’s Rule #1:  Memorize the Rules of LaLa!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

E is for.....


As in: "Why thank you, I am having an excellent day, how about you?"
As in: "This chocolate is so excellent, I forget why I cannot eat this as my every meal..."

My day started off rotten---forget to set my alarm, got kids to school in record time, got home to realize neighbor still had my keys, I was locked out AND I had left my cell phone on the kitchen counter, so no help there.

But then, the owner of this new place where I'm trying to get employed called and we ironed out some issues.  Then I literally hung up and the phone rang and the other chronic problem I was having has a potential solution:  a sitter that can work any hours and is willing to work with me!  THEN , one of my friends wants to know how much it would cost for me to re-vamp his blog and design it!  Things were just hunky dory from there!  It's all in your attitude folks! I decided, while sitting in the car, waiting for the ex to show up, "I'm not letting this one stupid moment define my whole day.  I refuse. And if I refuse, you lose.  That's all there is to it."

Where I Am From....

I am from VCR’s, from Star Wars and ET.

I am from a little cottage; cozy, sunlit, with the smell of coffee in the morning.

I am from the strawberry plant, the climbing lilac, the hosta and the rose.

I am from Scrabble games and reading and stubbornness; from Joe and Judy; Thomas and Jewel; from McKusky.

I am from sarcasm and wit and laughter.

From real Santas and Easter bunnies.

I am from traditional Mass. From incense and Mary and tiny folded dollars for the poor box.

I'm from Baltimore and Bohemia, from icing’d desserts and pot roast and sauerkraut.

From motorcycles on days cold enough for frost bite, from ribbons twirling to Whitney Houston, milk crackers and ocean vacations.

I am from shoeboxes and photo albums, brittle curling sepia and single cherished copies.

** this lovely gem came from a template, found here.  And *I* found it by way of my good friend over at Lessons from the Queendom.  Thanks Nic!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

D is for....


March 25, 2003-October 20, 2011

R.I.P. honey
I will miss you, especially during this next phase in my life, but I know you are with Shadow, happy, healthy and whole.  Be a good girl.  Mommy loves you. 

Monday, October 17, 2011

C is for....

And here's the Mayor:


I've seen this in several places today and I finally watched it.


You know, people like this give REAL protestors a really really bad name. Really.

All these college kids, who have no idea what they are actually protesting about/for, but there they are, on the streets, talking to people with cameras even!! If I were the organizer of this protest, I'd have trustworthy people walking around with clipboards, taking names and asking questions to test stupidity levels....and then tell the ones that fail that they are under no circumstances, on pain of death, to talk to anyone with a microphone or camera.  And then I'd confiscate their cell phones. ;)

This guy is just reinforcing the idea that it's a bunch of dingbats out protesting with nothing real to say. Where is his mother?? And better yet, where is the mother of the young girl---she needs her glasses back by the way---who is actually sobbing about what this dingbat is saying!?

By not monitoring who's recording--and everyone has a cell phone and camera these days---well, they are a bunch of dingbats. With big signs and loud voices.  That no one is listening to.

I say: actually. get. organized.

If you need a marketing person, I'm your girl! ;)

(This blog post has been brought to you by:
Siostra: a La Carte Marketing

Friday, October 7, 2011

B is for....


Ok, eventually, I'm going to put some SAT words in here, but really, here in southern PA, it was indisputably a bea-u-ti-ful  day!  Lots of sun, crisp and cool most of the morning before it became warm.  I took a long drive down some scenic backroads for a job interview and all I saw were rolling hills, curving roads and ...corn fields.  Less exciting, but beautiful nonetheless!

And of course, it's always a beautiful day when Handsome has texted me. :) I know.  I sound totally silly and smitten, don't I?  I make myself sick!
 Isn't it beautiful though? :)

View from my office window today.  Hot air balloons rock!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A is for.....

I don't know why.  It's the first word that popped into my head.

I'm going to try to showcase a word every day, that encapsulates how I feel about that day, going through the alphabet in order.  Today was actually NOT asinine, come to think of it, unless you use it like, "It was asinine how I couldn't stop smiling over a text."  Ok, that would be appropriate.

See, there's this guy.... 

That's all I'm a gonna say.  He's shy. (LOLOLOLOLOL) Ok, that's totally not true.  It's me.  Our relationship is complicated right now.  And the complexity of our relationship is in direct proportion to how close I am to being officially divorced.  And he's...prudent, I believe is the word my mother used.  And you know what? That makes me smile too.  It's him, being respectful.  And I greatly appreciate that (did you see that? How I slipped in another good "A" word? Right? Right?)
Ok. Now THAT's all I'm gonna say.  ;)

But me, hard-core smiling (um, yeah, there might've been school-girl-like giggling) over him texting me back was really....asinine.  Yeah. That's appropriate.

Tomorrow's letter: B. Cuz I'm anal like that.  (another "A" word!! Go me!)

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Waking Up in Strange Places.....

So Ian wakes me up in the dead of night. Kate has no clock in her room, so I have no clue what time it is.  He's naked. (No, I'm not dreaming, but I'm irritated) and he says,
"Mom, I overflowed my pull-up.  I need a new one!!" and he's all bent out of shape.
All I can think of is my mother's couch, which he was sleeping on, and hoping he is confused as he often is about just peeing in his pull-up and actually overflowing it and getting his pj's wet. 
But he's being really loud and Kate and Morgan are trying to sleep and I'm completely annoyed I'm not sleeping (I may have mentioned that).  So I jump out of bed, shushing him and, sans glasses (this will be important later) I rifle through one of our suitcases and hand him a pull-up.
The next morning, I come down and Ian is just in his pajama shirt and a pull-up.     
A pink, size 2T/3T pull-up with princesses on it.
Because he's wearing Morgan's pull-up.



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