Monday, January 16, 2012

"Easy," My Aunt Fanny!!!

So, how bad is it to cook a chicken with giblets in it?

Because I can’t get them out.

Seriously. The damn things won’t come out.

I put it in the fridge for 22 hours, people. TWENTY-TWO.

AND I put it in cold water for two hours, using clean water every thirty minutes for two hours. (Do you have any idea how little I needed something else forcing me out of my office chair every thirty minutes?? Cuz kidlets doing that isn’t enough?)

Yeah, I used BOTH defrosting methods and those giblets were frozen to the inside of the bird.

So now, I’ve whipped off my rubber gloves in a bold move born of pure frustration: I am touching the bird with my bare hands. A raw chicken. On my hands. Are you hearing me? Cuz I’m about to ruin dinner by puking into the cavity of this bird. (Salmonella poisoning, here I come!!) I’m going to have to spray bleach *this whole area* to keep from getting sick. Not to mention my hands, which will never be clean again. And the little droplets of salmonella-laded water, which are currently flying in gentle glee everywhere, don’t even get me started on those!

Most frustrating?

It’s labeled an “EASY Roaster Chicken.”

I hate liars.

The bird is now double-ziplocked and back in the fridge.

We’ll save “easy” for tomorrow night but today?

Who’s feelin’ like a burger?


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